I tweeted the other day (blogging about tweeting, VERY COOL JARROD!) and it said “Demonizing technology is like blaming your shoe for stepping in poop. YOU stepped in the poop! Let’s take responsibility for how we live.” No one really responded. So rather than accepting the silence as market research that those words did not resonate, I thought maybe I would write some more about it.
Blame is a defense mechanism. It is not about justice, it is about my own fear. When I blame I get to avoid being vulnerable. Instead of admitting that I am not perfect and that I have some how contributed to a broken project, relationship, workplace, or country I get to hide behind the “faults” of someone else.
My concern is that when we blame we only create more distance between the undesired outcome (stepping in dog poopy) and how our behavior can improve it (paying attention to where we are walking).
So why blame and hide if being vulnerable is the key to a more desirable outcome? Fear. It is safer to point the finger than to be honest about our failings as parents, leaders, lovers, and consumers. It is easier to blame the kids, our team members, our ex-spouses, and the capitalist beast. And it is this fear of vulnerability that keeps our guns pointed, our marriages lonely, and our lives uneventful.
There is correlation and causation between healthy friendships, companies, and families and when the individuals involved step over their shitty fear and vulnerably share their failings.