Lazy…Err…Restful Thoughts

In the midst of two very slow work weeks, some thoughts…

I am often more concerned with being productive then I am with finding enjoyment or sustaining that productivity. I struggle with resting because I do not feel useful.

Feeling useful often has to do with LOOKING useful. I don’t often tell stories of naps, afternoon book reading, and extra long walks to get coffee. But guess what? Today, I might do all three of those.

Living in San Francisco impacts this. My meetings are sandwiched between the conference calls and board meetings of others. Here busyness implies importance. We marvel at Marissa Mayer taking only two weeks of maternity leave before returning to work as the CEO of Yahoo and then we poo poo her for sleeping through a meeting. We are cruel.

My obsession with productivity keeps me hurried and in search of more to do. It seems that hurry and busyness are the enemies of connection – to self and others.

Are we too ambitious? Not enough? Regardless of the answer, we often only consider ambition through the lens of our work. How can we reclaim ambition for all of life? How can I be a more ambitious dad, husband, son? More ambitious neighbor?

I feel much better about how I spend my time if I am in control of it. Time and energy are important resources. They’re all we’ve got really. Allowing others to tell you how to spend them almost certainly ensures you will resent your days.

We’d rather others decide how we spend our time because we don’t want to do the hard work of defining our values and goals and then aligning our time and energy to achieve them. Not you? Oh. Just me then.

Staying present with a two year old for an entire day is nearly impossible. I try, but just can’t do it. I often day dream of sending emails about widgets and reading tweets. What the hell.

Articulating anything – feelings, thoughts, life patterns – is nearly impossible without distance and perspective. When lost in a sea, it’s impossible to appreciate the waves.

When work is slow, it’s amazing how much I care about the Japan vs Colombia World Cup Match.

Jarrod

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